Adolescence is the journey from childhood to adulthood. It is a journey that can be quite a ride for us as youth ministers who desire to be companions on our teenagers’ journeys. As a youth minister, teacher, and coach for over thirty years, I have some observations I would like to share with you. Below are some practical insights into adolescent psychology which hopefully will help you to guide and support the young people we love so much.

• The first suggestion is, of course, to love them. Unconditional love is what we all desire, and the need to be loved is our dominant human need. God calls us to relationship, and with teens, the need to belong to a group is a dominant need.
• One challenge as a youth minister is to help adolescents develop the personal insights which will empower them as they determine how to meet their basic needs, how to deal with their changing relationships, how to deal with stress, and how to determine their purpose for existence.
• Adolescents need sleep—more sleep than at any time in their lives except infancy. Let them sleep in on retreats. Be sensitive to their school schedules when you schedule parish activities. Help them with balance. Mood swings, volatile behavior, and depression can be the results of sleep deprivation.
• Adolescents need to question. Parents sometimes panic when their child doubts the existence of God or the tenets of our faith, but it is in searching and questioning that teens will take adult ownership of their spiritual beliefs. Please be sure to encourage ‘searchers’ or ‘doubters’ to continue to catechize themselves as Catholics while they investigate other beliefs.
• Adolescents need friends to support them when they experience anxiety and uncertainty about new events and opportunities. The absence of friends can be a deterrent to their involvement in new activities.
• They value your input as a mature adult. They need another generation’s advice.
• As much as they need friends, they need time with their parents and families.
• Adolescents need standards to help them break bad habits and to help them form new ones. Challenge them without judgment.
• Adolescents need adults to listen. At times, their non-verbal communication comes out before they can express the words which can convey what is going on within them. Help them develop the language of emotions and the skills of assertiveness.
• They need ownership and they need to have a voice. Have a team of youth leaders. Let them tell you about their culture and allow them to take charge of as much as possible without overwhelming them. If you match responsibilities with their gifts, their responsibilities will not be burdensome.
• They like traditions even though they may sometimes be bored by the constancy of our liturgical traditions.
• Adolescents need experiences to make things real. Catechizing is necessary for confirmation, but then experiences of our universal church, our Catholic social teaching, and faith in action are essential for spiritual growth.
• Adolescents are stressed and they admire and strive for humor in their lives and in others. Teaching appropriate humor is difficult. Have them guide their peers in discussions about humor and hurt feelings.
• They need love just like the rest of us, but have no idea about its relationship to sex. They think they know everything about sex, but they do not.
• Adolescents need boundaries and need to be held accountable, but they also need flexibility. Respect their schedules and their conflicts. Do all that you can do to include them in events, even if they must come late or leave early.
• They want you to come to their events. Your attendance validates them; they have so many insecurities and emotional needs.
• They need to trust who you are in order to be influenced by you while they try to discover who they are and who they want to become. Be consistent and compassionate.
• Early adolescents are more concerned about what others think of them than older adolescents who begin to develop a sense of purpose. Cognitively, the brain evolves and is more capable of grasping abstract thoughts and principles like integrity, loyalty, mercy, authentic friendship, and love.
• Adolescents can grow to love and trust you even though they think you are weird or that you have stepped off another planet. They need role models on their quest to self discovery. We as youth ministers must answer the call to be examples of Christ in their lives.

Editor’s Note: Pam shares some of her experiences in relation to these tips in her full article . More information on Pam’s ministry and writings can be found on her website.